P-ride with me.

Pride. A word with a handful of definitions, and a thousand meanings. A word that is sometimes the root of perplexity among those outside the LGBTQ+ community, especially during the month of June, and can even be a mental obstacle on the path to allyship.

You might ask – a person can have pride in anything, so where are the celebrations and parades for everyone else? I find it helps to think about pride as a celebration of hard-won achievement – and often, the strongest, most fierce sense of achievement is born from resilience in the face of adversity. Even more specifically, adversity that is rooted in purposeful, decades-long oppression and violence.

Gay folk have existed since…well, since folk have existed. Though there have been times in history where what we now label homosexuality or a lack of gender norms was accepted (in ancient Rome, for example), by the mid-twentieth century it was often met with legal action, brutality and isolation. Records show that public push back from the LGBTQ+ community in the U.S., in the form of “protest pop-ups,” started as early as the 1950s. But it was on June 28, 1969 when the LGBTQ+ community in NYC – fed up with hateful behaviors like violence, oppression and legal processes meant to control and restrict the LGBTQ+ community – set in motion a wave of change. The protest at Stonewall, which ultimately led to riots, was the culmination of years of living in fear, being victimized and physically (often sexually) assaulted, by fellow citizens and even law enforcement, for simply existing. This uprising was a turning point in the gay rights movement, providing a sense of strength, community and belonging. (Without it, I’d likely be unhappily married to a man, drinking homemade tequila in a gay speakeasy with a secret girlfriend. But I digress.)

Protest, in its many forms, is the catalyst for change. Though a sensitive, misunderstood and sometimes vilified topic, protest is the only thing that disrupts the status quo – forcing people out of their comfort zones and into action. We mustn’t ignore the importance of acknowledging intersectionality, as pride and equality do not live in silos – they are deeply intertwined with combating the injustices that all minority groups are forced to face in this world. The action that took place at Stonewall was led by black and brown transgender activists, Marsha P. Blackburn and Sylvia Rivera, and is an important piece of pride history that connects marginalized communities.

“Injustice anywhere, is a threat to justice everywhere.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Contrary to what some might believe, our fight did not end that day/week in Greenwich Village. It did not end on June 25, 2015 with the U.S. federal legalization of gay marriage. And it did not end on June 15, 2020, when the United States Supreme Court ruled that Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 protects gay and transgender humans from workplace discrimination. Despite all of the progress made in the 50 years since the first Pride parade, it was a still a reality for me that, up until just 7 days ago, it was perfectly legal in 26 of the United States to terminate my employment on the sole basis of who I split chores with. This struggle continues not just in the United States, but in countries across the globe, including many where the fight is just beginning.

So when will the fight end, you ask? When members of the LGBTQ+ community no longer have to think about otherwise mundane things at a molecular level. When mental gymnastics, out of fear of paralyzing progress with professional and personal relationships, are no longer required. When a coworker doesn’t have to be fearful of letting a pronoun slip when talking about their weekend plans around the (now virtual?) water cooler, because they’re not sure if any of their teammates will feel uncomfortable or view them differently. It ends when an extra three hours of vacation research to make sure the desired destination is gay-friendly based on hate crime statistics and laws are no longer necessary. It ends when children and young adults are no longer disowned and coldly pushed to the streets by their own family members because of who they are.

And it ends when you become an ally – when you advocate. Equality, in all its forms, is not just a passed piece of legislation or words on paper (though of course that helps!). It is a state of mind. It is knowledge, understanding, empathy, compassion and GROWTH. And the good news? If you’re unsure or confused or stressed about what you should do – the only thing you really HAVE to do, is be genuinely kind.

This has been, and will continue to be, a journey. Though progress has been made, it’s far from over, so please join us, and let’s make sure it doesn’t take another 50 years for us to achieve true equality.

Happy Pride y’all.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead